The psychology here is pretty clear. Our family of origin and others in authority over us when we were children, have all affected us greatly and in a sense we are not our fault! God also says in Proverbs that as children are trained up, that is how they will be when they are old.
When I came to Christ I became HIS child and now I am growing up in Him.... I am a brand new person and my life is a clean slate for Him to write on. Now he is training me up through His Word and His grace and all the tools of recovery He has given us. God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are my new family of origin and so are my beloved family who are also in Christ! Thanks for listening!