For instance, in recovery from any 'hurt, habit or hang-up', we will grieve in reaction to the intense changes taking place in us and those we are in close relationship with. As we understand and accept this process it becomes less of a mystery.
Before looking at the 5 stages leading to our 'new normal', lets identify some of the losses we may experience. Some may be a surprise!
- Loss of the 'HURT, HABIT OR HANG-UP' itself.........even though it is good to be rid of it!
- Loss of the 'RITUALS' we performed when practicing our 'hurt, habit or hang-up'. Such as, no longer having to walk down the other side of the street when we see someone or spew out in anger when we think of a certain person, place or thing. We may feel a loss when we no longer need to stop by the bakery on the way home for our nightly binge foods.......as had been our habit in our addiction!
- Loss of the 'RELATIONSHIPS' I once had when in my addiction, or those people I commiserated with over my hurts or hang-ups. (An example of a hang-up might be 'I don't attend church because of all the hypocrites there'.)
- Loss of my 'FREEDOM ' as I now may need to be accountable to others for my actions and/or whereabouts.
- My friend/spouse/children may need to grieve the loss of their 'RELATIONSHIP ROLE ' as they no longer will be enabling me by parenting or caretaking me.
- We may all experience a loss of feeling 'UNHAPPY' which is a GOOD thing to lose but it still leaves a hole to be filled up with something else..........such as joy!
- Much time was taken up by the 'RECOVERY PROCESS ' and we may feel a sense of loss when we aren't having to work at it so hard. We will need to find new ways to spend the extra hours in our days.
Well, those are a few losses we may experience and tomorrow, we'll explore the 5 stages of recovery we will pass through. If you see yourself in any of these stages, hopefully, you will be able to cut yourself a little slack realizing it is 'normal' to feel like this on the way to your 'NEW normal'. :)
As always, I am happy to hear any thoughts or comments you may wish to share!