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FINDING OUR NEW NORMAL - Part One

4/30/2014

6 Comments

 
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Most of us have heard about the Kubler-Ross model of the 5 Stages of Grief.  However, grieving happens not only as a result of losing loved ones or possessions.  We also grieve when we lose a way of living or a way of looking at ourselves and others, which had been our 'normal'. 

For instance, in recovery from any 'hurt, habit or hang-up', we will grieve in reaction to the intense changes taking place in us and those we are in close relationship with.  As we understand and accept this process it becomes less of a mystery.

Before looking at the 5 stages leading to our 'new normal', lets identify some of the losses we may experience.  Some may be a surprise!

  • Loss of the 'HURT, HABIT OR HANG-UP' itself.........even though it is good to be rid of it!
  • Loss of the 'RITUALS' we performed when practicing our 'hurt, habit or hang-up'. Such as, no longer having to walk down the other side of the street when we see someone or spew out in anger when we think of a certain person, place or thing.  We may feel a loss when we no longer need to stop by the bakery on the way home for our nightly binge foods.......as had been our habit in our addiction!
  • Loss of the 'RELATIONSHIPS' I once had when in my addiction, or those people I commiserated with over my hurts or hang-ups.  (An example of a hang-up might be 'I don't attend church because of all the hypocrites there'.)
  • Loss of my 'FREEDOM ' as I now may need to be accountable to others for my actions and/or whereabouts.
  • My friend/spouse/children may need to grieve the loss of their 'RELATIONSHIP ROLE ' as they no longer will be enabling me by parenting or caretaking me.
  • We may all experience a loss of feeling 'UNHAPPY' which is a GOOD thing to lose but it still leaves a hole to be filled up with something else..........such as joy!
  • Much time was taken up by the 'RECOVERY PROCESS ' and we may feel a sense of loss when we aren't having to work at it so hard.  We will need to find new ways to spend the extra hours in our days.

Well, those are a few losses we may experience and tomorrow, we'll explore the 5 stages of recovery we will pass through.  If you see yourself in any of these stages, hopefully, you will be able to cut yourself a little slack realizing it is 'normal' to feel like this on the way to your 'NEW normal'. :)


As always, I am happy to hear any thoughts or comments you may wish to share!


6 Comments
janice underhill
4/30/2014 02:03:57 am

I like my new "normal". I can say most days are happy and joyful.

Reply
Judy Muir link
4/30/2014 02:40:53 am

Thanks for sharing Janice...........it's great to be normal and feel the 'joy'!

Reply
Heidi
4/30/2014 05:46:38 am

I have to say that in the areas where I have truly received freedom I rarely feel a sense of loss or grief of the bad things, HAHA. I like not being so needy of certain things from other people; I like having more time to focus on my own dreams/wishes.
That said, there is still a work in progress in other aspects of my life... I look forward to experiencing freedom from a certain hangup (a type of fear) and I will not miss it when it's gone, haha. I think real freedom is sweet.

Reply
theresa
4/30/2014 01:31:03 pm

Thanks for sharing everyone. I too will be glad when the loss of certain things (like fear are gone) in my life. It is a daily struggle for me and I won't miss it.

Reply
Christine Priestman
4/30/2014 01:39:55 pm

I am in the process of losing a way of life I lived in for over 66 years. It is surly a process and some days I find it more of a grieving process than a thankful one. But when I think of others who also have similar losses I find it much easier to be thankful because of all the helps I have in place.

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