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SKID TALKING!

5/12/2014

5 Comments

 
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"Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of His body, the church."  Ephesians 4:15

I heard about a game that children played years ago called skid talking. Skid talking was a way of mixing words together that left you scratching your head and saying, "What???"

For example: "If my grandmother were alive today, she'd roll over in her grave."

  As a game, skid talking might have been fun. However, many people grew up with a form of skid talking as the means of communication in their families. As a result, they used unclear statements and manipulative behavior in communication with others. Examples:

Blaming, Guilt or Shame Messages:

"If you ever came to dinner on time maybe we could all enjoy a hot meal for once!"

Guesswork Messages:

"What does a person have to do to get some help around here?"

Silence/withdrawal/pouting - By my actions, I tell you something is wrong; it's your job to pry out of me what it is.

Acting sick or needy - Complaining about stomachs, headaches, always on the brink of falling apart, etc. is the way I try to get my needs met.

Fantasy - Hoping/wishing you will give me what I need, without giving you any clues as to what that is; "if you loved me you'd know what I need!"

A big part of our recovery is learning to communicate in healthier ways. We send straight, clear messages by saying exactly what we mean and asking for what we need.

Tomorrow, we'll look at a formula for doing just that!


5 Comments
Heidi
5/13/2014 06:11:52 am

My family of origin operated on skid-talking and I participated in this mess by abusing myself and getting sick as an indirect way of asking for attention. Also if someone who was close to me withdrew with the silent treatment, I spent my energy trying to figure out and pry out of them what the problem was so I could "fix" it by my being "better".... What a waste of time and energy and joy! There was no peace or grace in it. I am getting better at asking directly for what I need and also learning not to waste energy on giving in to other people's skid talking. I want other people to make direct requests instead of withdrawing, but if they withdraw I can just let them do it without me fretting over it anymore! They'll stop when they're tired of it. LOL it's not my responsibility.

Reply
theresa
5/13/2014 11:15:16 am

I can see myself in a couple of these skid talks, how I can still use the silent treatment and wanting others to pry out of me what is bothering me. I wonder too if I don't use sickness to get others to pay attention to me. I ask anyone's forgiveness who I have done this to. Amen.

Reply
theresa
5/13/2014 11:18:02 am

I know better then to use these tactics, so Lord Jesus I need your help to just come out and say what I need to say without fear. Thank you Jesus that You are greater then my habits.

Reply
Christine Priestman
5/13/2014 01:14:23 pm

Never knew what that kind of communication was called but I sure do recognize it. I'm learning to say exactly what I mean and not to beat around the bush. It's a much better way to communicate.

Reply
Judy Muir link
5/13/2014 03:46:56 pm

Thanks ladies for your great comments.............always enjoy reading your responses........so good!

Reply



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